Know a sure way to bug your wife or girlfriend?
When they ask you that loaded question, "How do I look?", just say, "With your eyes."
"When I walk into a room, I expect your undivided attention. Don't look over here or over there, look at me. If you say something to me, I just may want to ignore you. That's my prerogative. In addition, when I utter so much as a sound, you are to smile, nod approvingly, and praise me."
Sounds like your boss, right?
Well, you're half right. I'm also your cat!
Driving down the street in Sydney, Australia, I was pulled over and given a ticket for "failing to yield to a leaping marsupial".
And then I knew the fix was in, when on the citation it stated that I was to appear in Kangaroo Court!
Shirley Temple walks into a bar.
"What'll it be, little lady?" asks the bartender.
Replies Shirley, "I'll have a Me!"