I have to admit, I am a pretty smart guy. I know all the right answers!

Unfortunately, everyone asks me all the wrong questions.

What are turkeys NOT allowed to say to each other after they've had a big meal at the dinner table?

"I'm stuffed!"

Patient to psychiatrist: "I have this fear of being in tight, enclosed places."

Psychiatrist: "That's a very common disorder. Lots of people have the same problem."

Patient: "It's a little bit more complicated than that. I have an abnormal fear of being in an elevator with a bunch of department store Santa's."

Psychiatrist: "Take a couple of these pills and call me in the morning. You have an acute case of CLAUStrophopia."

A mime was arrested and put into an invisible cell at the police station.

They figured if he can't get out of an invisible box on a stage, an invisible prison cell would be twice as difficult.