Patient comes to the doctor.

Doctor: So, what concerns you?
Patient: Dr, everyone ignores me!
Doctor: Next!
Lol!!

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

Lazy Husband
"I`m ashamed of the way we live," wife said to her lazy husband, our Santa, who refused to find a job.
"My father pays our rent, my mother buys all of our food, my sister buys our clothes, my aunt bought us a car. I`m just so ashamed."
Santa rolled over on the couch. "You should be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a thing!"