Q: What sound does a piano make when you drop it down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner!

A snail goes to buy a car and looks at several models. He looks a the 'z' car, an 'x' car, and an 's' car.

He decides to buy the 's' car.

Now when he drives down the street, everyone says look at that 's'-car-go!

There were three astronauts, a Russian, an American, and a Not-So-Bright American.

The Russian says we were the first in space. The American says we were the first on the Moon. The Not-So-Bright American says I will be the first to land on the sun.

The other two look at her and say, "The sun! Wont you burn up?"

She says, "Well duh! We are going to land on it at night."

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue...........

And in 1495 his luggage and baggage finally arrived.