One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. in Jeff's house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, "Is this 555-1111?"
"No, this is 555-1112." Jeff replied.
"Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you," the woman said.
"That's alright," Jeff said. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined, to have the car towed. As the morning wore on, however, my anger cooled, and I decided to give the driver another chance.
During lunchtime, I went outside and left this note on the driver's windshield:
"Please don't take my parking space. If you do, and your car disappears, don't say I never towed you!"
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted... "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I had a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any experience in picking lemons?"
"Well ... as a matter of fact, Yes!" she replied. "I've been married and divorced three times."