"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win...

If I was late to work, I was hostile.

If I was early, I had an anxiety complex.

If I was on time, I was compulsive."

- So many men, so few who can afford me

- God made us sisters, and Prozac made us friends

- If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going!

- My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips

- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog

- Coffee - Chocolate - Men ... Some things are just better rich

My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!"

She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"