Favorite this joke Wife to husband: “What do you want for dinner tonight?”
“Well, we could buy prepared crust and make our own pizza at home. Or we could go off our diets and get dinner from Dunkin. Or we could go to the Thai place.”
“The Thai place closed a long time ago.”
“So dough … or donut. There is no Thai.”
Today I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport.
She's getting a little up there. She's at the age where she doesn't remember things too well.
So, when I saw her, I said, "Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!"
Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, "No, Johnny, you can't eat that now it has germs."
Johnny pondered the thought a moment and replied, "Jesus, germs, and Santa Claus - that's all I ever hear about and I haven't seen one of 'em yet!"
- Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
- Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
- Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
- Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
- Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... LOUDER...
- Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
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