A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced, "Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Farmer Condill's henhouse please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn't want money from a thief!"

The collection plate was passed around and for the first time in months everybody gave.

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"

Computer Work Pranks...

- Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

- Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

- When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

- Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

- Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

- Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

- Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

- Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

Frank hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown!"

"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in blue, either!"