"How long have you been working at that office?"

"Ever since they threatened to fire me."

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, a lady was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son.

She couldn't help but laugh as she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember... after we land, run to Dad first, then the dog."

"Oh dear," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised. You've been giving me a piece of it every day for the past twenty years."

A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Well he thinks for a while and says, "Put 'You're not getting older,' at the top and 'You're getting better' at the bottom."

The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

"You're not getting older at the top, You're getting better at the bottom."