Favorite this joke I went to the library the other day and found a book titled "How to Hug".
Wanting to learn the secrets of intimacy I quickly grabbed the book and headed to the checkout counter.
The librarian was polite but said I couldn't check out the book because it was the seventh volume of Encyclopedia Britannica.
Little Johnny: "Mommy! Mommy! I keep running around in circles!"
Mommy: "Be quiet or I'll super glue your other shoe to the floor too!"
I reluctantly went shopping with my wife so she could buy a new dress. She tried on several but they didn't fit.
As she came out of the fitting room totally frustrated she remarked, "Nothing my size fits me anymore."
After resisting the advance of technology for many years I finally gave in and bought a cell phone. A few days later I called my wife and told her someone kept texting me but when I checked I didn't have a text message.
My wife asked who it said was sending a text. I told her I wasn't sure about the name but I thought it was a lady named Betty Low.
After a short pause my wife responded with, "I think you mean 'Battery Low'."
Free Daily Joke