On our seventh wedding anniversary I broke out in hives...

I think they call that the seven year itch!

(Dumb Criminal) Never pick the pocket of a guy wearing a wedding ring!

(Trainee) Why, because he’s a family man and needs the money?

(Dumb Criminal) No, because his wife already beat you to it.

(Client) No one understands me!

(Counselor) Why not?

(Client) It’s much like Newton’s third law of motion! The problem is the general derivation of the thrust equation forces pertaining to cognitive exchanges fail to achieve a proportional cohesion to the value of any given communicable sum. Do you know what I mean?

(Counselor) No…

I have a way with women...

As soon as I open my mouth, they go a-way!