Favorite this joke My Granddaughter bought me one of those fancy do everything cell phones for my birthday. She said she'd come over on the weekend and show me how to use it.
The bad thing is I spilled some water on it and feeling horrible I called her up and told her what happened. She told me take out the battery, take out that card thingy dingy and put the phone in rice and leave it sealed in Tupperware over night.
I told her I'd call her back the minute I did all of that. When I called her back she asked what took to long. I told her that I do things the old fashioned way, I don't use that minute rice stuff and it took me twenty five minutes to cook the rice. She asked if I had submerged it in the rice yet and I told her that I had.
She paused for a moment and said, the rice trick doesn't always work. I'm sure it's going to work fine, I call her tomorrow after I get all of that sticky rice off of it tell her the good news.
A couple’s only daughter had just graduated from law school. Her parents were very surprised to find out she had recently become engaged to a man they had never met. The daughter also announced that she’d be bringing her fiancee over to meet them that evening.
The moment the parents opened front door to greet them the warm welcoming smiles on faces of both parents completely vanished. Their open happy expressions were instantly replaced by a look not far from shock.
The young man in their doorway had an athletic build, chiseled features with a picture perfect bright smile! He was wearing a silk tie a tailored suite along with expensive Italian shoes. He didn’t have one hair out of place on his head and when he spoke his deep confident voice was absolutely mesmerizing. His charismatic presence seemed to command respect and admiration though his demeanor was open and friendly.
By this time both of the parents were visibly shaken making this quite an awkward moment for all concerned. Silently wincing the mother almost broke out in tears as she shook the young mans firm yet warm gentle hand.
Only able to make partial eye contact and with a slight tremble in his voice the father hesitantly asked the young man what he did for a living. The young man replied: I’m a used car salesman!
A huge sigh of relief came over both parents as they instantly resurrected their welcoming smiles once again. The father said we’re so happy to hear that son, for a moment there we thought you might be a politician.
Two scouts were making a lot of noise on a field trip. The scout master asked them to "please not yell" and to "go find firewood".
One scout turned to the other and said, "I’ve heard of this before, something about 'talk softly and carry a big stick!'"
(Father) Your mother tells me your first prom dance is coming up!
(Son) Yes, but I don’t think I’m going. What if I ask a girl and she says no?
(Father) Son, never fear rejection. Just keep asking until some nice young lady accepts your invitation.
(Son) Did you go to your first prom dance?
(Father) I sure did and I never let rejection hold me back!
(Son) Does this mean the first girl you asked said no?
(Father) Yes. In fact, many said no but I didn’t give up.
(Son) Did you have fun?
(Father) I sure did! And if you don’t believe me, ask your Aunt Suzy, we had a ball.
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