(Dad) I just got an invitation to my thirty year High School class reunion. I don’t think I’m going to attend.

(Son) Dad isn’t it true that each year the graduating class is larger than the year before.

(Dad) Yes, that’s generally how it works. By the time you graduate son the graduation class should be double of what it was last year.

(Son) My point exactly, based on that I really think you should attend.

(Dad) What point?

(Son) I just did the math in my head and it just wouldn’t be fair to the other two graduates if you missed it.

A guy meets an attractive woman at a bar. After a few drinks he invites her over to his place. She answers by saying it depends on what they'll be riding in on the way over there.

He says, "I’ll give you a few hints. The chauffeur drives, the vehicle costs over $300 thousand dollars, and I’d like to surprise you with the rest of details should you decide to accept my invitation."

She happily accepted and he led her outside. She reacts, "Hey wait a minute! we’re at the bus stop!"

"Surprise!"

President: I can't sign this bill, it's completely absurd. If I turn this into law it will raise taxes by 5 percent and extend the work week to six days instead of five.

Congress: Please note Mr. President on page 5027, under subsection 22, clause B, it exempts all members of the executive and the judicial branches as well as congress for life. Plus we all get a 50 percent raise and enhanced retirement benefits.

President: Perfect, got a pen?