Little Johnny’s teacher was grading student essays about actual family experiences. She came upon Little Johnny’s paper entitled, “The time my dad told me to jump out of the tree and he would catch me.”

Tearing up his teacher knew she’d been too hard on little Johnny for misbehaving and such. She felt terrible just knowing how hard his life must be. Not wanting to read each painful word she decided to give Little Johnny an 'A' without reading it.

Surprised to see an 'A', Johnny was quite puzzled. He thought to himself, "My teacher couldn’t have like the part when my dad caught me and told me that some people can be trusted. She must have liked the part where I stomped on his big toe and called him a wimp."

Three teenage boys were taking a short cut across a church lawn. In perfect view was a large sign which read: Stay off the Grass.

The caretaker yelled to the boys from the gardening shed, "Hey, can't you read?"

The boys paused, looked at each shrugging. Then one of them looked at the sign, still baffled. He cupped his hands over his mouth to form a loud speaker and yelled back, "So who's smoking?"

A man was driving down a country road and he was passed by what seemed to be a chicken that had three legs. The man sped up and followed the chicken, who turned down a long driveway leading to an old farm house. The man pulled up next to the house and out came a farmer, his wife, and their son.

The man said, "Did you see that, a three legged chicken!"

The farmer replied, "Oh yes, we once had a three legged chicken hatch so we bred it because all of us like to have a chicken leg at dinner and this solves the problem."

The man scratched his head and asked, "So how does it taste?"

The farmer replied, "Don't know, we ain't caught one yet."

A man walked into a game and toy store looking for a challenging board puzzle so he asked the clerk for just such a puzzle. The clerk replied, "Well sir, it depends on what you consider to be challenging?"

The man replied, "What do you mean it depends on me, I didn't make the puzzle so how am I supposed to know if it's challenging? Don't you know your products young man?"

The clerk replied, "Well sir, it tells you on the box how complex the puzzle is. Lets see here, oh yes, this one should be perfect. Right here on the front of the box it says it takes 3-4 ages to complete."