If God had used the metric system, would there have been ten disciples instead of twelve?

John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was?

David: Eleven inches

John: That's not very long.

David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.

Teacher: "Can anyone tell me where the toothbrush was invented?"

Little Johnny: "In Kentucky. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."