A young boy watched his grandfather put on shoes with a device he'd never seen before.

The boy asked what it was. As he handed it to the boy, the grandfather answered, "It's a shoehorn."

After looking at it and turning it over the boy asked, "How do you play it?"

Last year I entered a Halloween costume contest as Quasimodo.

I didn't win.

I have a "hunch" that I'll be "back" this year.

Fric: I was going to dance down a spiral staircase for your birthday, but I decided not to.

Frac: Why not?

Fric: Because I am a Fred Astaires.