Why did the Lone Ranger have his bullets made in Cincinnati?

He wanted Ohio silver.

Did you hear about the inchworm that got upset?

He had to turn metric.

Sometimes when I'm depressed, I get a pregnancy test...

Just so I can say, 'Well, at least I'm not pregnant."

Three dogs met on a street corner. The first was a beautiful black poodle with a big blue ribbon around its neck, and it said, "My name is Fifi, spelled F-I-F-I."

The second was a pretty white poodle with a red satin ribbon around its neck, and it said, "My name is Mimi, spelled M-I-M-I."

The third was a dirty old mutt and said, "My name is Fido, spelled P-H-Y-D-E-A-U-X."