Al: When was your son born?

Sam: In March, he came the first of the month.

Al: Is that why you named him "Bill"?

Teacher: If I tear a piece of paper into four, what do I get?

Student: Quarters

Teacher: And if I divide it into eight?

Student: Eighths

Teacher: And if I divide it into eight thousand parts?

Student: Confetti.

I tried Flintstones vitamins once...

I didn't feel any better, but I could stop the car with my feet!

A frog, a duck, and a skunk went to the movies. The frog and duck were allowed to see it, but the skunk wasn't.

Why?

Because the frog had a greenback, the duck had a bill, but the skunk had only one scent.