Tarzan comes home pooped and sits on the couch.

"Rough day?" asks his wife Jane.

He takes a deep breath and then replies, “It's a jungle out there!”

I had some pie of mine that I put in the refrigerator attached with a note saying "Don't eat me."

The next day, I opened the refrigerator door. The pie was gone, but there was a note saying, "Don't tell me what to do."

Q: Why didn't the fly go near the computer?

A: Because he was afraid he would get caught on the Web.

Al: You're looking glum.

Sam: Yeah, my doctor says I can't play football.

Al: Really? I didn't know he'd ever seen you play!