Bob: Why aren't you working?
Al: The boss and I had a fight, and he won't take back what he said.
Bob: What did he say?
Al: He said, "You're fired!"
I told her that no sensible person would go out in the cold weather wearing nothing but a bikini.
So she went out with a little moron.
What's the difference between a unicorn and lettuce?
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
Definition of Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.