I'll never forget the excitement when Grandpa shaved off his beard...

... and we found out it was Grandma.

I just bought a new state-of-the-art washer/dryer. It even talks.

This morning it told me what it did with the other sock!

A lot of people are afraid of heights...

Not me, I'm afraid of widths!

Wife: John, what becomes of a ballplayer when his eyesight starts to fail?

John: They make him an umpire.