A cop pulled me over and saids, "Papers."
I turned to him and said, "Scissors. I win!" and then drove away.
Definition of Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.
Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all the boys would make fun of me.
Moe: What did you do?
Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse.
Mother: Don't forget to include Grandma in your prayers tonight, that God would bless her and let her live to be very old.
Daughter: Oh, she's old enough. I'd rather pray that God would make her young.