Son: "Dad, what is 'creeping inflation'?"

Father: "It's when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit."

"What does your mother do for a headache?"

"She sends me out to play."

Bathroom Definition: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

Sign on church bulletin board in front of a church in a small Wyoming town...

THIS SUNDAY: DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?
COME AND HEAR OUR NEW ORGANIST.