Did you hear about the dumb guy who bought "Math for Dummies" at Barnes & Noble for $19.99?

He gave the clerk a $100.00 bill and received a $1.00 bill back as his change.

There's this old lady at a supermarket. She goes to the produce section. She's rummaging around for a while. Then the Produce Manager sees this and starts talking to her.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: We're out of broccoli at the moment.

The old lady starts rummaging again.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: I just told you that we don't have any at the moment.

The old lady begins rummaging again.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: Is there straw in strawberry?

Old Lady: Yes.

Produce Manager: Is there van in vanilla?

Old Lady: Yes.

Produce Manager: Is there freak in broccoli?

Old Lady: There's no freak in broccoli!

Produce Manager: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!!

Yo' momma so old that her social security number is 000-00-0001!

What's the difference between a shower curtain and toilet paper?

If you don't know, I'm never having you over my house to use the bathroom!