After much searching and research, I have found the meaning of life. It's in between lies and lift in the dictionary.

When I was young, I was assigned a book report on any book of my choosing.

So I read the phone book and for my report I wrote, "This book hasn't much of a plot, but it does have a lot of characters!"

Why do they call going to the bathroom "taking a dump" when you're actually giving it and not taking it?

A really dumb woman tries to use her computer, but it wouldn't work. So she calls a computer repairman to come out and fix it. The computer repairman comes and looks at the computer. He notices that it wasn't plugged in, so he plugs it in. He starts up the computer and the woman was so overjoyed that she asks him what was wrong with the computer. He replied that it was an "I D 10 T error"