I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.
What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning your juicer.
I’m not interested in any diet plan...
Unless of course it lets me use rollover calories!
I’m on a whiskey diet...
I’ve lost three days already.
Stepping up to the counter at the fast-food restaurant, I asked for a baked potato with butter on the side.
With the gusto of someone newly employed, the teenager taking my order asked, “Which side?”