Al: I got fired from my job as a bank guard.

Sam: What happened?

Al: A thief came into the bank. I drew the weapon and told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.

Sam: What did he do then?

Al: He took one more step, so I let him have it. Who wanted that stupid old gun, anyway?

Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell “rain”?

Little Johnny: R-A-N-E.

Teacher: That’s the worst spell of rain we’ve had around here in a long time.

Greg: Did you hear about the accident at the Army camp?

Mike: No, what happened?

Greg: A Jeep ran over a popcorn box and killed two kernels.