Teacher: Little Johnny, how old were you on your last birthday?

Little Johnny: Seven.

Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?

Little Johnny: Nine.

Teacher: That's impossible.

Little Johnny: No it isn’t teacher. I’m eight today.

Tourist: "The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?"

Native: "Nope, we just let them go barefoot."

The teacher asked the class to write a composition telling what they would do if they had a million dollars.

Every pupil except Little Johnny began to write immediately. Little Johnny sat idle, twiddling his thumbs, looking out the window.

Teacher collected the papers, and Little Johnny handed in a blank sheet.

“Why Little Johnny,” the teacher said, ”everyone has written two pages or more, while you have done nothing. Why is that?

“Well,” replied Little Johnny, “that’s what I would do if I had a million dollars.”