We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids...

It’s SPF 80...

That means you squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.

Went to my eye doctor the other day...

Guess who I bumped into?

Everyone!

What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?

A smell that you will never forget.

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"

Son: "I don't have it."

Dad: "Why not?"

Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."