This Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox, nothing more. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, one Xbox.

You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.

Which was fine... because I bought her an Xbox.

Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?

Because they are rain deer.

Little Johnny asked his father, “Where did I get my intelligence from?”

His father replied, “It must be from your mother... because I still have mine.”

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do statistics, I’ll even do trigonometry…

But graphing, THAT is where I draw the line!