I was getting ready to go to choir practice when I heard my dad say, "Don't forget a bucket."

Confused, I replied, "A bucket? Why?"

“You’ll need something to help you carry a tune."

Both my wife and I are bad cooks.

Our cooking is so bad, that our kids have started praying after we've had dinner.

A little old lady was driving the wrong way down a one-way street and was stopped by a cop.

“Didn’t you see the arrows?” he asked.

“Arrows? I didn’t even see the Indians!” she exclaimed.

This was a recent conversation that I had with my girlfriend’s father, who knows I do web design.

Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?

Me: Oh, that's simple, not hard at all.

Girlfriend: No, he doesn’t mean to make a Facebook profile. He means to redo ALL of Facebook.

Me: Oh. In that case, that's very hard.

Father: Oh, okay. (Pause) What are we talking then, maybe just 3 to 5 hours?