A man was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring his reflection, when he posed the following question to his wife of 20 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”

She answered, “Of course I will. I've already been doing it for the past 5 years haven't I?”

My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu. She was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor.

After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor asked my daughter, “So what would you say is bothering you the most?”

After a brief pause, my daughter replies, “My little brother Steven, he always breaks my toys.”

A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”

The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here's your $40 change.”

A son challenged his boastful father to a game of golf. The son was determined to beat his father in golf for the first time.

On the very first swing, the father got a hole in one.

“Okay, nice shot dad," said the son, thinking quickly on his feet. “Now I will take my practice shot and then we will start.”