After much convincing from her husband, Tammy finally agreed to call an old family friend to sing her happy birthday. It was only after she finished singing, that the voice at the other end of the line informed her that it was the wrong number.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” the voice said, “you need all the practice you can get!”

A grandma lovingly gives her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Afterwards, she noticed the little girl wiping her cheek.

“Are you wiping off my kiss?” she asked.

“No”, she smartly replied, somewhat embarrassed but quick on her feet, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

The pediatric nurse entered the room, prepared to do the job of giving a shot to a little girl. Upon entering the examining room, little girl starting screaming, “NO! NO! NO!”

“Jessica,” her mother scolded her, “that is not polite behavior!”

The girl stopped briefly and then continued with her screaming, “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”

A woman notices her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “You know, that’s not going to help,” she says.

“Sure it does,” he answers. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”