I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites."

"Why thank you," I replied.

Then he concluded with, "You were mean to everyone.”

Wife comes downstairs and asks her husband, who is lying on a sofa, "What have you been doing?"

He replies, "Killing Flies."

"How many you have killed so far?"

"Five, three males and two females."

"How did you figure that out?"

"Well, three were sitting on the remote and two were sitting on the phone."

During a sixth grade sex education class, the young professor asked, "What happens to a young woman during puberty?"

There was no reply from her students, so she rephrased the question. "What happens to young women as they mature?"

One girl raised her hand and answered, “We start carrying purses?”

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her third grade class.

“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” answered one little girl.

“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”

“Yes,” said the girl. “It means carrying a child.”