Two men are discussing their love lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."

The other one says, "Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

What is the difference between a politician and an actor?

An actor gets better scripts with more credible story-lines.

Why do hens lay eggs?

Because if they were throwing them, they’d break.

An old man gets out of prison, after many years being locked up. He stands at the pavement, and yells, "I'm free! I'm free!"

As he shouts, a little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"