Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army.

"My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier.

"I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.

"You could if you could lie as I do."

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80.

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital!

Nurse: What is it?

Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

Employee: "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Right decisions."

Employee: "And how do you make right decisions?"
Manager: "One word."

Employee: "And, What is that?"
Manager: "Experience."

Employee: "And how do you get Experience?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Wrong decisions."