"I'm telling you, nothing is impossible!"

"Oh yeah, try slamming a revolving door."

"Do you know why the golf pro tells you to keep your head down while swinging?"

"No, why?"

"It's so you can't see him laughing."

"My photographs don't do me any justice."

"How so?"

"They just look like me."

A guy told his friends, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue."

Turns out his boss just got sick and tired of him.