BUFFET: A French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself." (Internet Source)

BUTTERBALL TURKEY: Someone who would rather watch a soccer match on TV than join the family for Thanksgiving dinner. (MsSam)

CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food. (Lexicon)

CASSEROLE: Thanksgiving leftovers incognito. (Variation of a daffynition by Lexicon)

CIRCUMSPECTIVE DESSERT: Pumpkin pi. (MsSam)

FLABBERGASTED: Bewildered at your weight gain over the holidays. (Variation of an Internet Source)

FOODSTUFF: All you can eat buffet. (Charles G. Waugh)

FOWL: Four letter bird. (Variation of a statement in Art. Moger, ed., The Complete Pun Book, 1979, p. 99)

FOUL WIND: Breeze produced by a flying turkey. (Internet Source)

KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL THANKSGIVING DAY PARTY: The tur-key. (Joseph Leff)

GOBBLE: A bull that talks turkey. (Internet Source)

A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house.

The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"

The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again."

A ten-year-old was watching TV with her Grandma.

The newscaster interrupted the program to announce the outcome of a political election.

"More on candidates at 11pm," he said.

The child exclaimed, "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!"

People are funny...

They spend money they don't have...

To buy things they don't need...

In order to impress people they don't like!