Sister Grace at the convent opened a letter from home and found a $100 bill from her parents. She smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily-dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Grace" on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, and tossed it out the window. The stranger picked it up and read the note. He tipped his hat to Sister Grace and hurried away.
The next day, Sister Grace was told that a man was asking to see her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.
"What's this?" she asked.
"That's your $8,000, sister," he replied. "'Don't Despair' paid 80-to-1."
"Darn!" the man said to his friend while weighing himself at the local drug store scale. "I started on a new diet but the scale says I'm heavier than I was before."
Turning to his friend, he said, "Here, hold my jacket." The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight.
"OK," he said to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies."
One morning a call came in to the school office.
"Hello, please mark William absent today. He's sick," said the caller.
"Okay," said the receptionist. "May I ask who is speaking?"
"My uncle," said William.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.