The Sunday school teacher asked her preschool class, "How many of you would like to go to Heaven?"

All the children raised their hands except Tommy. The teacher asked Tommy why he wouldn't like to go to Heaven.

Tommy answered, "I'm sorry, but I can't. My mother told me to come right home after Sunday school."

Joe and Sue were listening to the Minneapolis weather report at breakfast. The announcer said, "There will be three to five inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street." Joe got up from the breakfast table and went out to move their car.

Two days later they heard another radio report, "There will be two to four inches of snow today. You must park on the even-numbered side of the street." Joe grumbled and went out to move their car.

Three days later the weatherman announced, "There will be two to twelve inches of snow today and you must park..."

Just then the power went out and they didn't get the rest of the instructions. "Great," said Joe. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Aw, Joe" Sue replied, "just leave the car in the garage."

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, the unhappy husband finally confronted her.

"Admit it, Linda. The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million."

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied. "I don't care who left it to you."