George, who had a wife and 8 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 8 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he didn't believe in lying.

So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 7 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right. The agent asked, "How many children do you have?"

He answered, "Eight."

The agent asked, "Where are the others?"

George, looked the agent right in the eye, and answered, "They're at the cemetery with their mother."

Two political candidates were having a heated debate.

Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"

And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"

Husband: "It says in this article that high fructose corn syrup made me gain all this weight."

Wife: "That's ridiculous!"

Husband: "Ok, 'Ms. know it all', if high fructose corn syrup didn't make me gain weight, what did?

Wife: (drolly) "Going back for thirds!"