I don't believe in reincarnation...

I didn't believe in it the last time, either.

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter "playing wedding."

The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

Don’t wear headphones while vacuuming...

I finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.

Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?

They ended up in a tie.