Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes?

Come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

A mom's teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.

"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.

"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy a new iPad!"

It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she said, "who is eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore."

I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.

"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."

The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" she shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"

Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound.

The other two are goulash and squid.