My new years resolution is not to shovel snow...

Since I'm moving to Phoenix Arizona, I feel pretty good about it.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in...

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Brenda's five-year-old grandson Logan was spending the evening at his grandparents' home. He asked if he could watch the "Brer Rabbit" video and then made a second request to watercolor.

Brenda asked him which one of the two he wanted to do.

He looked up and replied, "Grandma, I have two eyes. I can do two things at once."

Q: What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.