Favorite this joke I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn, because I was taking too long to place my order.
"Take the high road," I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window, I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food, too.
Lesson: Don't honk your horn at old people.
A man giving a long-winded speech finally says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you."
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
I came into my house and told my dog... we laughed a lot.
A new paratrooper was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto "Death from Above"...
Later he noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared "Death from Below"...
Then, standing in line for chow one day, he was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: "Death from Within"!
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