Two guys went to a local pancake house that served real Vermont maple syrup but charged extra for it.

So the guys went to a supermarket, bought their own Vermont maple syrup, and brought it to the pancake house.

They didn't want to get caught, so they were forced to pass the bottle between them... syrupticiously.

A guy gets shipwrecked and washes up on a beach.

The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn dark red, too.

"Oh no!" he says. "I've been marooned!"

I entered my first marathon and finished first!

Two steps into it I stubbed my toe and finished, first.

A New Yorker noticed a guy in a cowboy hat and boots standing and staring at Niagara Falls.

Figuring he must be a Texan he walks up beside him and says, "I bet you don't have anything like that in Texas do ya?"

The Texan replied, "No sir, we don't. But, we have a plumber in Waxahachie that can fix it!"