The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"
"Yes, coach", replied the boy.
"Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?"
The boy nodded in agreement. The coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him insulting names. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the boy nodded yes. The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach dumb, or stupid, or worse, is it?"
"No, coach."
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandmother."
A robber walked into a music store and then everybody got down!
I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?"
Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."
We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.
A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small, out of the way, town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went.
He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said.
The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. You want 2 nines or 3 sixes?"