I changed my reference to the bathroom from John to Jim...
Sounds much more impressive saying I went to the "Jim" this morning.
I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!
You can tell a woman's mood by her hands...
If she is holding a weapon of any sort, she is not happy!
How do two Navy Admirals greet each other?
A NAVAL Salute.