Two steps for making great tofu:
Step 1: Throw TOFU in the trash.
Step 2: Put a thick RIBEYE STEAK on the grill.
Around 3pm every afternoon, I think it's time to put an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on my forehead and call it a day.
Sign on wine truck...
In case of ACCIDENT:
BRING LOTS OF CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!!
Have a fisherman friend that is always exaggerating the size of the CATFISH he catches. I ask him what was the size of his latest catch.
He replied, "Five inches!"
"Five inches?" I asked. "Five inches is not a very large catfish."
"You didn't let me finish," he began, "five inches between the eyes!"