Things that always tell the truth:
Small Children...
Drunks...
Yoga Pants!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school?
He wanted a higher education.
When ordering a pizza ask that it be cut in 4 slices in place of the normal 8 slices...
That way, it only counts as 4 slices on your diet!
Dear Winter,
I'm breaking up with you. I think it is time I start seeing other seasons.
Besides, Summer is much HOTTER than you!